Happy New Year – and an old poem to celebrate

So 2012 is imminent. I’d like to wish you all an eventful and exciting (but not too extremely so) year and look forward to your continued company over the next twelve months. Thanks for your support in 2011. I hope you’ve enjoyed my posts as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them (well, most of them!).

I thought I’d leave you with a poem. I haven’t written many new year poems, in fact, only one which I wrote for 2000 and which has the millennium bug as its theme. Anyway, twelve years later, here it is again. Enjoy!

 

New Year Millennium Bugs

Midnight bells rang

With a mighty clang,

The crowd all gave a shout.

So no one saw

The start of the war

As the bugs came crawling out.

 

Some were big

And some were tiny

Some were dull

And some were shiny.

 

They licked their lips

And ate the chips

(Computer chips I mean),

Computers died

To every side —

It was a ghastly scene.

 

Some were fat

And some were thin

Some looked grumpy

While some wore a grin.

 

So all about

The lights went out,

Everything stopped working.

People were scared

And unprepared

For this menace that was lurking.

 

 

Some had sisters

And some had brothers,

Some looked evil

And so did the others!

 

No-one knew

Quite what to do,

They were panicking and stumbling,

While all around

There came the sound

Of civilisation crumbling.

 

Some had big teeth,

Some had small,

Quite a lot had

No teeth at all.

 

“I told you so!

Did you listen? No!”

Someone was heard to shriek.

“I warned that bugs

Would come like thugs.

And it’s happening as I speak.”

 

Some were blue

And some were black.

Some had no front

And some had no back.

 

“Let’s make a stand

And save our land

Before it’s all destroyed.

I have a plan

So if you can

Help me get it deployed.”

 

Some were stripey

And some had spots,

Some just a few

But others lots.

 

“My research shows

That bugs like those

Shrivel up in salty water.

So lay lines of PCs

That reach to the sea

And we’ll save our sons and daughters.”

 

Some were ugly

Some were cute

But every one

Was a nasty brute.

 

The trap was laid

And everyone prayed

That this crazy idea was right.

Now they had to wait.

Would the bugs take the bait?

They held their breath all night.

 

Some moved slowly

On their bellies

A couple splashed

Around in wellies.

 

The light of dawn

Lit up the morn

With a lovely shade of peach.

A fine sight met the eyes —

No, not the sunrise —

All the bugs were on the beach!

 

Some were smooth

And some were crinkly,

Some were very, 

Very wrinkly.

 

Their evil work done

The warmth of the sun

Made the bugs all go to sleep.

As they snored and sighed

The incoming tide

Upon them began to creep.

 

Some were bristly

Some were bald

And all of them just

A few hours old.

 

At the touch of the sea

Each buggy body

Suddenly shrivelled and vanished,

As the last disappeared

The crowd all cheered.

The Millennium bugs had been banished!

 

Some had whimpered

Some had sighed

Some had popped

As they had died.

 

But in a PC

Very far from the sea

Two bugs were waking late.

They happened to be

A he and a she —

Now that doesn’t sound too great.

 

He was cunning

She was mean,

He was hungry,

She was lean.

 

They looked for their others,

Friends, sisters and brothers,

But sadly couldn’t see any of ’em.

“No matter,” they said,

“We’ll have babies instead

And wait till the next millennium!”

 

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